Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You can't motorboat a personality
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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