i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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