What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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