I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
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Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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