My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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