dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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