I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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