I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
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Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
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In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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