brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize