I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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