this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize