You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize