I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Me too!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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