There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
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He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
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I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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