This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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