I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize