I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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