I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
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There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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