Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
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Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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