please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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