actually, I'm a sock model
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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