where am i from again
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize