i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize