I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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