She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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