I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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