At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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