I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The ass gains better be worth it
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