Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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