My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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