I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize