so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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