i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize