So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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