I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize