You made me cry and you don't even care
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize