physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
mondays should just be called national damage control day
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one with the molecules
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize