No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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