my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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