No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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