i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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