I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
is it fun? or sober?
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