His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize