4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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