I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
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Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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