i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize