What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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