Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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