BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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