carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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